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So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
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