I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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