You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
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Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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