yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
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So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh god it's open bar.
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