see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
is it fun? or sober?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize