The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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