no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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