I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
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I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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