I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize