i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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