:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize