Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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