I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize