My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
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We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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