the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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