also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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