My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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