Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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