Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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