Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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