I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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