u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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