omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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