and she was petting her beer can
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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