i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
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It was like giving head to a cactus.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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