dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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