hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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