a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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