i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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