Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize