this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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