When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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