I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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