It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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