u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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