You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize