got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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