I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize