so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize