Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize