And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
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Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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