when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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