Already got asked if we're dating
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
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how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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