If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize