We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize