Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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