Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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