Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize