I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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