Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize